Five months from now, it’ll be time for E3. As with many other
people out there, I’m looking forward to it. I always do. This year is going to
be great though. Most likely, we will see two new consoles. There’s also a
possibility of a third coming in from Valve. Aside from the coming influx of
posts online saying “599$ lel” and “remember rrod m$?” new consoles should be a
great thing. The bad part?
They’re all going to suck.
Microsoft
The successor to the Xbox 360 will be more powerful. That’s the
only concrete news we’ve got. In lieu of news, an assload of rumors are
circulating the net. While most of them are dumb (wearable controllers), one is
flat out ridiculous: the console will be named “Xbox.” This rumor comes from
Xbox World magazine, who claims that Microsoft will follow in Apple’s footsteps
with the iPad in terms of naming their new device. So, we would get a second
console named “Xbox” instead of “Xbox 720,” “NextBox,” or “Fucking Anything
Else.” The reasoning behind this rumor is sound (laziness), but it would just
be idiotic. Names aside, which ultimately mean nothing, the NextBox is going to
suck.
For some perspective on why I would make such a bold claim, think
back to Microsoft’s E3 conference last June. A quick reminder: Hulu, Netflix,
ESPN, Kinect, multiplatform games, Halo, and Usher dancing. Instead of blowing
us away with new games, we were told that full fledged entertainment devices
are the future. I suppose that if the main reason you have an Xbox 360 is
Netflix, then the Xbox 720 will be for you. If you’re more into gaming, it
might be a good time to worry. The 360’s lack of exclusives wasn’t great, but a
gaming machine that boasts about its use for watching TV and movies more than
its gaming is going to be bad.
Wait, I apologize. I completely forgot about all of the
exclusives Microsoft has that they push year after year: Kinect games! Any list
of best Xbox 360 games worth their weight are at least half Kinect games.
Remember how excited we were when Fable: The Journey was announced? Or that one
where you throw rocks at castles, Wreckateers? I can’t wait to see what
shovelware Kinect 2.0 will be capable of. (Wreckateens, the mature rock
throwing game for mature teenagers? Microsoft, I am available for the position
of idea giver.) The future is bright for hands-free gaming.
In summary, the Fucking Anything Else will feature Kinect games
and Netflix as the two main points at launch. It’s going to suck.
Sony
The Playstation Four doesn’t feature the same amount of guarantee
as the new Xbox does. Sony is in the news a fair amount, but as of late, the
biggest piece was their stock being rated as “junk.” For those that don’t
follow news as closely, this means that investors would be wise to steer clear.
A lack of investors means a possibility that Sony wouldn’t have the start up
funds necessary to develop and mass produce the console. Yes, there have been
plenty of rumors about development kits being in peoples’ hands, but that
doesn’t mean anything. What the company would really need funding for is
production and marketing. For the remainder of this article, assume that Sony
is going to deliver a new console. The problem is it would suck.
To fully grasp the reasoning for this claim, think far back to
Sony unveiling the PS3 at E3 2006. Actually, think to all the YouTube montages
and YTMND’s (remember YTMND? That got old fast). If there’s one phrase that
best sums up E3 2006 it’s “five hundred and ninety nine US dollars.” That was
the price of the PS3 at launch for those unaware. The reason this launch price
is so important and detrimental is the key aspect of the PS3 that made it so
appealing: it was much more powerful than the other consoles. If Sony goes
ahead and makes a console with as big a jump in performance, the PS4 could have
the option to dominate. If they do this, the price will have to jump up and it
will cost more to manufacture the product. Does the PS4 blow our minds in terms
of graphics, and lose the company money and alienate lots of the market, or
does Sony make a weaker console that doesn’t hurt them financially? The answer
is pretty obvious.
The two biggest rumors we have about PS4 are, well, awful: no
backwards compatibility and no used games. The lack of backwards compatibility
makes sense. The PS3 and its various forms have featured different amounts of
compatibility. It would come as no surprise were Sony to announce the PS4 would
not play PS2 games, or even PS3 games. There’s little chance of PS1 games, so
don’t raise any hopes. As for the no used games rumor, this one is harder to
believe. The reasoning is clear: developers get none of the profits from used
games, hence the online pass thing for many games. In reality, the biggest
issue is that the age of bringing a game over to a friend’s house to show off
would be over. Sleepovers across the world would be a whole lot worse.
In summary, the Playstation Four might not come out, but if it
does, it won’t be as impressive as the PS3, and will destroy playing old games.
It’s going to suck.
Nintendo
(The Wii U already came out, I know. Let’s pretend it hasn’t for
the sake of slandering it.)
After E3 2011, many people were confused. “Is the Wii U a new
console or a new controller?” I can’t blame them. Nintendo added a single
letter to the end of their old console and only showed off the controller. It
could easily have been nothing more than a Wii add on. Nintendo shocked the
world when they said “quit being idiots, we said it’s a new console, why are
all of you such idiots?”
Since then, Nintendo has done its best to prove their new console
is a true successor to the Wii and not just a gimmick. They have failed
irrevocably. Why does every ad feature one guy with a gamepad and four people
with Wii Motes? Are you trying to confuse everyone? Because of this, you’ve
lost me as a potential buyer of the U. Over reliance of the past (Wii Motes)
and the ignoring of the better past (Gamecube compatibility) has got you dead
on arrival, Nintendo. I’m predicting nothing near the success of the Wii. I
would go so far as to say that your first Holiday season will have shelves
stocked with the U, not people thunderdoming for the final Wii in town.
Let’s talk games. Because Nintendo is definitely focusing on
showing off games, and not the controller and the fact that it’s not a Wii. At
launch we’ve got a new Mario, Zombi U, and some games down the line. The worst
part is the third party games. Mass Effect 3 and Arkham Asylum? Really? Those
came out months ago. Oh, and the worst looking version of Black Ops II. As
usual, Nintendo, I’m expecting all the talk you gave about third party support
to be nothing but bull.
In summary, Nintendo will rely on a gimmick and first party
games. The lack of graphical power will isolate it from third party support as
soon as NextBox and PS4 launch. It’s going to suck.
Valve
The Steambox is a living room PC. We don’t know much about it,
other than that it’s a living room PC and it’s coming eventually. Some people
are pointing out that you can just hook a regular PC up to a TV, but that’s
just ridiculous. It shouldn’t suck. A midway point between PC’s and consoles
should be great. And for people such as myself that would love to play on a
computer but can’t afford to upgrade my rig to stay relevant, it’s the perfect
choice.
Why will it suck? Because it’s a midway between consoles and PC.
The average console user that plays Call of Duty and watches Netflix doesn’t
want a PC. A PC gamer that has all the advantages of a PC (ability to upgrade,
customization, pirating) doesn't want the restrictions of a console.
“Suck” might not be the right choice. “Flop” would work better,
but to investors and developers, a flop sucks.
In summary
The NextBox and PS4 are going to suck. The Steambox will flop.
There are some dark times ahead of us, yet that is a good thing. Game development
is stagnating right now. What are some big advances being made? Turning
everything into a mature, brown shooter with lots of cinematic cutscenes.
Surely younger gamers don’t remember a time when Medal of Honor, Battlefield,
and Call of Duty were different games. I do. I can’t be the only one that
misses games being individualistic and not put on ridiculous release schedules.
We will go back to that. There’s no choice. If the NextBox, PS4,
Steambox and Wii U all fail, these giants will lose money. Developers and
publishers will lose money. Instead of yearly releases and similar games, we’ll
see developers vying for our attention, not appealing to the lowest common
denominator. Originality will be a word that describes most games coming out,
not the rare gem.
It’s going to rock.
Article by Chris Lohr
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Article by Chris Lohr
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Chris Lohr is a freelance writer currently in film school. If you’re
looking for him to write for your website, manifesto, or Russian bride
catalogue, send an email to puddinginasock@gmail.com. Put today’s
date as the subject line and include a picture of yourself. Must be DDD free
and willing to host. All Articles by Chris.
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11 comments:
By the end, the article made me feel more optimistic than the title suggests. hahaha :)
Yeah I've too have been looking forward to the Game Industry's impending doom. Hopefully, if it ever comes back, games won't cost $70, no one will know or believe what DRM was, cross compatibility will be standard on all game systems, games won't all be different variations on the same formula and Arcades will have re-surged in relevance.
I use a PC but I don't pirate... music/games/movies... nothing. Everything I have I own and I wish everyone would stop pinpointing PC users like that. Most people that pirate are broke and worthless anyways.
im obsessed with games i download loads of games for free but so what i buy any that are even half good and worth owning infact my steam account is in the 100s most of what i bought i would have never ever bought if it hadnt been for pirating the damn things .so do i dammage the game industry even slightly? .. well if you mean all the shit developers then yeah ,, all the ones that even put a apeth of crap into there games i buy
I'm trying to process how I feel about this article. I enjoy the premise and what the author is trying to communicate - especially in a whimsical fashion. But I feel that it's the usual overly negative game journalist POV. This seems to be a common trend within our community and it does not resonate with me personally.
Truth : At some point one of these companies are going to fall flat on their face. Especially since were in that awkward period of technology - who is even the demographic? What is it that we're looking for and for how much? These are really important questions and it's going to take some challenging questions and leaps of faith to bridge that gap.
Assuming that each of these endeavours are going to fail or bottom out is incredibly presumptuous. Especially from 3 companies that have been creating hardware for between 1 and 3 decades, respectively. Someone will come out on top - video games are only getting better and more sophisticated. :) These last few years have been incredible as development software and distribution becomes infinitely more intuitive and accessible.
Also - to assume Valve - a pioneer in everything they set out to do, a company that prides itself on patience, quality, research, and development... would be foolish.
almost all the games i buy are used... if second hand games are not on option. that console will just not be an opion for many people. far to many times long ago i spent 50 or 60 dollar on games that just sucked, so you get wise wait for them to price drop, or get em used , or trade with a friend. If gaming companys are worried about lost sales they sould just make sure they don't release games that are total crap. Buyin and trading of games and systems is a pretty big business, if it was eliminated it could really hurt the industry as a whole. When you have resposiblity and family but video games for 100's of dollar just takes a back bench. Console companys should focus on making good product people want to buy. if a game has zero resale, or trade in value once you have played it, it becomes worthless, so why buy it.
A serious opinion piece this article is indeed. I got me a Wii U a couple months ago and just started playing it. There's a lack of speed in between load screens on the home menu but honestly, it really doesn't bother me. I can honestly say that I really like the system. It's difference compared to 360 & ps3 is obvious. I heard Zombi U had bad scores but in all honesty, the game is actually pretty damn fun. Those zombies ate pretty damn hard to kill and don't play! Mario is fun, as usual. Assassin's Creed is cool and the fact that I can play it on the co troller (which iI didn't know was possible) is awesome! My 360 is also Friggin awesome ans I Love Resident Evil 6 and this game called 'Dishonored.' My Vita and 3DS keep me company as well as my PC. I dunno. I feel tur next gen will be just as good tw to three years in. This article just seems to be up cor the sake of something to talk about.
@ Joker-X: Since when is "something to talk about a bad thing?" Us gamers need to be heard, otherwise companies will continue to dick us over. In fact, the article is nothing but being honest. For all the great things that have happend in gaming over the years, we've got so many new shit problems that the industry has introduced just for the sake of making an extra dime off the consumers. People became outspoken when they were disappointed with the ME 3 ending and look what happend. They made a change. If we don't "speak out" about these issues like this article does....no one will do anything about it. :)
Uh, sure. I'm looking at it like this article as an opinion piece about the Wii U. I heard so much at one point that I wasn't sure I wanted one. I decided to go ahead and ignore the critics and I dont regret it. Those critics aren't ALWAYS right, is my point. I never said ANYTHING about gamers not being heard, bro...or ma'am. And 'something to talk about' can be good and bad. Depending on what you like and what you don't. It all comes down to opinion in the end. This article is opinion based and so is my retort. You side --I mean, agree with the view of this article and I'm not completp agreeing. Calm down.
Dude mid-way through that article really made me sad but by the end I was happy that if the new consoles royally bomb then they will have to go back to the last known point of success which would be the Xbox 360 & PS3 and the developers would then listen to the consumers so they wouldn't fail again. so all in all this will be awesome.
who comes up with these crappy gamer unfriendly methods of extracting money from us. is it just me or does MS seem to be reverting to noobs, instead of progressing with what gamers actually want ie affordable good games rather than the common 40-60 pound game that you buy play once and wish you just spent that money on
psychedelic smokeables
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